1.      First, you need to devlop a capacity to step back, breathe, and begin to see your life from a different perspective.  Often we are so caught up in habitual ways of reacting that we no longer question whether the way we are going about things is helpful to us - or others around us.

2.     It is useful to notice patterns in the way we think, feel and behave - so you can come to understand what is driving your stress and be able to change it.

1. 1. 1. 1. 1. do you recall other people in your life behaving like this?
            2. have you done it all your life  - or is it something new?
            3. are underlying beliefs about yourself or others putting you under pressure? For instance,  "If I don't keep the house immaculately clean I'm not coping" or "If I don't get a promotion my wife will think I'm a failure", or "I must always be lively and fun to be with or I won't have any friends"

3.    You need to make time for yourself and learn to relax.There are many different approaches to relaxing, so the key is to find several different sorts of methods that easily fit into your life and are sustainable in the long term.

• • • • • • • 1. 1. Relaxation, hypnosis, meditation and guided visualization are all effective skills you can learn to reduce stress,
                 2. Many people also benefit from more active forms of relaxation such as exercise, country walks, yoga or tai chi
                 3. A third effective form of relaxation is best described as "indulgence" - this category includes relaxing in front of an old movie, having a massage, going to a spa, or simply lying in the sun with a good book.

4.     Another aspect of dealing with stress is to know your limits, and feel confident about asserting them.   People who have difficulty saying "no" and communicating their needs to others often feel overburdened and resentful.  Feelings like annoyance and guilt increase stress and make it more difficult to focus on ways to problem solve and cope effectively.